well... m bk with another entry...

HAPPIE YOUTH DAY TO ONE N ALL... LOLX!!!

well.. today apparently there's sch... i was too seh to get myself to sch... sheez... i wonder how our superwoman, ah ma cld do it xia... (muz learn~~) haha... anywae...

frankly.. i m glad i didn go sch today.. if nt i wun b able to talk to someone whom i have nt speak to in a long while.... well.. this is gonna sound contridicting frm e previous entries la.... GUESS WAD?!... My bro(biological) called today... heng i was ard to pick e call, if it was dad who pick e call ah... i think 2nite is gonna b a long nite for e family again....

he called in frm work, checkin up how e family is doin... was happie to hear frm him again... had a chat with him... we talked a lot of his issues for e past 3 yrs away frm home.... he shared quite a lot of things with me... frm his relationship with tt so-called gf of his, as well as my uncles, aunts.... n seriously la... i wasn suprise... cuz somehow i guess this day will come.... things for him currently is a huge mess....i felt sad for him.. but i cant do anythin... e mess was created by him b4 he left home 3 yrs bk.... its like a "wu nai" kind of feeling....

well.. his relationship with tt gal finally come to a conclusion of nt gonna work out but currently still tryin to get over n done with it... n finally he wake up frm it... it took mum, sis n myself a long time after wastin our breath persuadin him to snap out of it(he was close to marryin her without anyone's consent).... FINALLY FINALLY~~ i cried to myself... after 3 long yrs of torturin n hurtin himself as well as e whole family... he cld tell me straight tt he has learn his lesson.... n he regretted makin that decision back then...

during the conversation, i don noe wad came over me... i teared suddenly when he said "Sorry mei.. i m really sorry... i m sorry that these 3 yrs i haven done my job as your brother...." gosh... i was on the verge of cryin out loud.. but somehow, i held bk.... also.. he was fustrated becuz of wad he has done to this family b4 leavin e hse juz becuz for tt gal 3 yrs ago... its been 3 LONG, TIRIN, TORTURING YRS for everyone in e family....

frankly... i m reali happie that he has come to his senses.... but at e same time, e past 3 yrs, wadeva hurtful stuff he has said to me as well as e family, e flashbks is still there... i wondered why??? m i still unable to forgive him as well as myself???? i seriously don noe.. its like a whole lot of question marks in my head....

b4 we end e conversation, he was sayin, give him a yr more(hopefully)... let him clear wadeva mess he hav made... once thats done, he will come home.... when i heard tt... i was glad... cuz... well.. last yr... mum was tellin sis n myself tt, hopefully one day e family will b bk together again... bk then my hates for brother was there n i thot he wldn come bk after wad he has done... when he say he tries his best to come home after a yr... i m glad cuz i m sure mum will b happie...

ar~~!! tears keep falling... i don even noe if its tears of joy or wad.... dear heavens... its been 3 long hard years for everyone in this hsehold... i hope after this yr or hopefully by nxt yr, he will return home n we can all b like b4 once again.....................................

i hope
i hope
i hope.....

this will come true.....

till then......