well... been listenin to this song Fate by L'Arc~en~Ciel(ラルク アン シエル) recently.. thou it was frm their v 1st album when they 1st started their music carreer.. i muz say this song was one of e best tt i liked so far...

includin doin it live in clubs or mayb tv shows as well as their concert.... e words to it r quite meaninful i muz say.. so mayb if ya wan.. can check this song out.... for me.. thou its japanese song... its like somehow somethin juz gush rite thru.. i don know.. n i muz say i salute to their guitarist, ken... he did a good job in bring out e best with e guitar.. its damn cool i muz say.... n hyde brought e crowd goin... it was damn high... i wish i can b like him xia.. n i wish i cld hav be there watchin xia.. sigh... o well.. its betta seein it on youtube than nth...

well.. anywae.. today is a borin day.. no outin.. juz home, com, n errr... singin? haha.. nah.. tts juz lame.. i cant sing anywae.. hahaha.... yep.. anywae... tts abt it for today... cheerz to all...

ALLLLLLLLLLL BOREDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD......... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL GONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE................

well.. today finally met up with my godsis xia.. its been a month plus or more since i last saw her... today met her at rail mall, she passed e movies and keys to e supervisor...

then she say she wanted to get a piercin.. so we head down to orchard fast east there look see... so she got herself a piercin for like ehhh.. 68 bucks... she was happie.. then see quite a few tattoo designs at e same time.. some looks nice.. some looks weird.. some look even jia lat... don know whether to luff or not... while she was doin it.. i was with her.. saw e whole process... was interestin... is like.. 1st.. e person take a tong.. then clamp e lip.. after tt place a small bottle cork at outside e lip there.. then after tt.. in comes e needle.. then when e needle reach e end of e lip there.. stuff e stud in... then taaaa daaaa.... piercin is done...

after tt.. we head on to subway for dinner... while i gobbled my food.. cuz i haven eaten whole day la... zzzz... my godsis cldn munch properly.. cuz was pretty much painful... anywae... after tt.. went walkin ard.. then went wantsons for buyin mouthwash... haha...

then we walk chat all e way to e bus stop near ps there.. then send my godsis off.. then off to home i go... had quite a walk bk.. its been a while... haha.. then see quite a no. of stuff change here and there.... was pretty cool... then walk a quiet road... was xian la.. heng got mp3 music.. keep me off frm makin my imaginations go wild.... finally nearin home.. when i got a call for goin pub.. was kinda no mood.. so pushed it off and head for home.... and yep.. here i m online now...

pretty much bored to tears.... yep.. anywae.. tts for today...

cheerz to all...

PANDA/KIDDY............... ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL DEADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.........

well.. today had a great day xia.. woke up.. on com.. chat online a while....

then shower.. head out to meet kel, xiao di and jn da jie... so went parkway parade to meet them.. when i got there.. i saw kel.. so i called him.. and walked over to meet him.. then we walked to parkway's poh khim to find xiao di and da jie... after tt, 1st stop.. ARCADE... as usual.. daytona lost to all.. man.. i sux at it xia.. after tt play bball shoot outs... lost also.. then see kel play inital D.. then i played daytona again.. i sux again... then after tt played whack crocodile with da jie and xiao di... like kids xia.. all so high... after tt played hse of dead 4 with kel.. as usual.. died 1st... zzzz.. my shootin sux xia.. haha... all sux la.. not fit to do anythin pro... LOL...

after tt.. we head on to BEST.. jalan ard... then di siao e piano a bit.. was quite fun la.. after tt went BENGAWAN SOLO kua MOONCAKE... then went to marine parade see ard for pool place.. but don hav.. so end up kel they all bought fire crackers... then head bk to buy mooncake.. haha... then wait for a blardie bus to go my place... then took 197 bk.. along e way, ken, ryl and athena had their dinner.. so they all played with my doggies.. after tt.. i managed to direct ken to my hse... haha.. then he kinda got freaked out by my doggies.. after tt... all of us head down for dinner... haha.. then e food i ordered.. e uncle gao siao la.. i say i wanna eat here.. then he packet it for me.. biangs.. lame la.. then ate tt and also drank sugar cane with lemon... damn refreshin.. after tt.. ryl and athena came... ken was happie... nan de see his "errr hemmmm" (shant go into details la)... anywae.. so we ate chat a bit....

after tt.. we bought a couple of drinks.. head bk to my place.. pack up and went to e park near my place celebrate.. was damn fun la.. like kids.. we tried to make RC and stars with fire crackers.. mostly didn worked out la.. but was fun.. too quite a few pics.. n played like kids.. in e mist... got MATA CAR come in.. LOL.. farnie la.. then all look like mah jiam did somethin wrong xia.. but end up one foregin couple kenna spot checked.. heng ah.. haha.. after tt we had e mooncakes... played e fire crackers.. after all e fun.. was time to go bk.. so i directed xiao di and ken to e bus stop.. after tt.. companied kel, ryl, athena and da jie to halt a cab.. n off they go.... then i walked ard e place a bit... then head bk home....

had a great day with them today.. hope there is more to come!! CANT WAIT!!!! when is e nxt gatherin xia?? lookin forward to it!! YIPPPIEEEE..... :P.... i also wanna spend time with my godsis b4 she leaves sg for good... damn... i m sooooo gonna miz her xia... argh... tt sux.. i wish she wun go... but i cant... i cant b self-fish and distant her frm her bf(my bro)... i wanna wish them to b well n happie togetha.... sigh... anywae.. yep.. tts for today...

ehhh.. sorry ah.. pics with e rest.. will get e pics here asap... cheerz to all n wishin all a happie mooncake fest..

FEARED PERSON!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL YYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSS............


i got e honour takin with 2 MODELS of drink products.. with one still got food in his mouth.. POR-FESSIONAL la.... :P....


Peace to mooncake with one abt to kill mooncake, one advertisin it.. and one havin it in mouth liao... yum!!


almost kenna killed by knife with a mooncake stick on top of it.. ow ow in advance...


GB's moOn gang eatin mooncake.. sound like eatin e cakes we made.. hmm got chen jiu gan... LOL... :P...


xiao di n me... look how happie we are.. LOL...


Pretty Cheryl n me....


fire crackers tt made a lot of noise.. yet... FUNNNN~~~~~~~

well.. these few days has been movie marathon or sort for me... sat went to watch death at a funeral with jb and kel.. its reali gao siao la.. we reali luff our heads off... anyone lookin for comedy movie.. this will b e one for ya.. don know when it officially come out la.. cuz we watch was e sneak preview....

then came sun... met up with kel to go da ma's fuo tang there.. cuz got vegeterian food fair there.. and da ma treated us into a lot of good food.. all thanx to her xia.. there were wide range of vegeterian food xia... zhen de shi da kai yan jie... kel treated me to RED BEAN ICE CREAM! THANX KEL!! ~YUM~ then we chat a while.. explore e place a bit... then after tt.. went to meet athena at tamp for dinner.. so frm bukit merah bus stop which da ma walked us there.. we took a single deck 197 went... along e way.. kel took my gameboy play... so i was listenin to music... then as he was playin.. his face got a bit pale.. after tt.. he sayin tt he feel like vomitin... gosh.. kenna car/bus sick xia.. biangs.. i scared he vomit xia.. he vomit i cfm kenna.... =.=... so till we reached parkway parade there... we alighted cuz he cldn tah han... so we waited for 31 or 15 to head up... after a while.. 15 came... then we took tt bus to tamp there... along e way.. he was still feelin e car/bus sick... =.=... almost "mobile merlion" xia... haha...

anywae.. we reach tamp.. head to arcade play while waitin for athena... while we played inital D.. athena came.. haha.. as usual.. i lost to kel in tt... zzzz... xian diao.. anywae.. then we head on for dinner.. then jalan a while then head bk...with a bad cold.. don know y.. then mid nite comes e worst.. e doggies slept with me n i was down with fever... zzzz.. pop 2 flu med and off to bed i go....

then for today.... met up with ryl, athena, kel and gy for movie.. at 1st suppose 2 meet gy at lavender at 2.30 PM!!! BUT~~~~ someone late la... =.=... so i waited for like 10 mins? then he came.. then we took a train up.. haha... chatted a bit... actually was suppose to meet e rest at tamp's small mac... but knowin all late la.. so ask all meet at tm's open plaza... so while walkin there.. gy and i tried our luck see if we can find jb.. cuz he is workin.. haha... then we saw him busyin cuttin somethin with his MANAGER!! LOL... then gy stare at him like idol frm outside xia.. LOL... anywae.. we walked to open plaza.. then gy sms him.. so jb came out for smoke break.. haha!!! then we chat a while.. kel came... then jb say he will join us for movie.. so he went bk to work.. cuz he knockin off at 4 xia.. then after a while.. ryl came.. then we chatted a while.. finally athena came.. after tt.. we went down to get ryl's stuff.. then came bk up play arcade... haha... then while i played time crisis 2... ryl and kel played hse of dead 2... haha.. see ryl's reaction so ji lie.. was so cute xia... cldn help but luff... after tt.. we play daytona.. haiz.. sadly i lost 2 all.. cuz startin i alr kenna flip car.. =.=.... zzzzz... anywae...

jb came then e guys got their snacks and drinks.. we all head in... then commercials were NONG.... after tt came e movie... haha.. was farnie.. had a good luff.. thou my head was kinda spinnin... seein how e rat cook.. biangs.. i wish my doggies can cook for me more than i cook for them la... =.=.... oops.. nonsense thot.... anywae.. after tt... gy gotta head home while jb got his own activities... so ryl, athena, kel and myself head to Long John Silvers for dinner.. then we ate.. chat a while.. then head on to nearby's playgrd chat and play a while... then kel was hyperly jumpin and climbin ard like a kid.. ryl and athena.. were chattin and xferin songs with their phones.... i was a bit giddly... head felt like a thousand tons juz fell on my head... zzzzz...

after tt.. ryl had to go... so we all left e place.. while 3 of them head bk.. i walked ard.... i saw bro with his gf... n he saw me doin somethin not a sibling wld wanna see....well... i cldn b bothered with him... so i juz didn bother sayin hi and walked off.. whether he will complain or wad i don know n i wun care... after tt.. head on to e other side of e mrt station.... was somehow feelin like gonna vomit or faint liao.. so juz took a train bk... while walkin bk.. was kinda shakey...zzzzz.... finally got myself bk home... lie on e bed.. and it wasn workin much.. so now on e com... listenin to music with eyes almost dead.. but juz like my eyes tired and not my mind... its like weird.... haiz.... jia lat xia... hope i get betta 2molo.. wanna celebrate mooncake fest with them xia... and most of them shld b comin over my place ba... hehe... YAHOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

tts all for these few days.... everyone.. weather is gettin suxy.. but moon nice... haha..anywae.. remb drink more water xia... don kenna dehydrate.... haha.... cheerz...

DORAMON/DYIN PERSON............... ALLLLLLLL OUTTTTTTTTTT..........

well.. today.. i muz say i enjoyed dinner today... was pretty much borin in e day besides watchin anime and drama..

after tt.. had dinner with kel, cheryl and athena.. haha.. as usual.. talked quite a bit.. jalaned ard.. stare at them enjoyin swensens' ice cream... then went shop n save with noisy promoters doin some activity... then head on to TM.. played hse of dead 2.. was lame la.. cuz i reali sux at it... wonder how i b gunner in future xia.. haha.. tt was all crap... then head bk home..

while in e train.. somethin caught my eye... PCK BOOTS.. haha.. cldn bear it but to take a pic of it.. howz tt... haha... i miz e PCK xia... esp e mole.. plus.. i saw another one in PCK boots.. but if i were to take.. it wld hav been too obvious... haha.. i wonder if nowadays ppl's fashion sense hav gone haywire.. i don know.. haha.. can comment much anywae...

anywae.. as i m typin this now.. my mum is headin for tamp.. most likely gonna bring bro back home.. i don know.. i juz don know if i can live with e fact after bein hurt for so long... gosh... it feels like a kinship tts been torn apart and now.. its gonna b patched... which i feel e holes r gonna b there.. whether he comes bk a not.. i don know n i m tryin not to bother.. i don know y n i don wanna know y.. i m actually pretty much happie with my life with e ppl ard me n in my life now.. i juz hope it stays at it is...

somehow ppl say.. family r more impt than frens... i don know.. sometimes i doubt myself.. hav i become too unfilial tt i actually sometimes feel tt frens r more impt than family... i don know.. its like pain and sufferin brings family closer.. but i don think tt applies to e state i m in rite now ba... i don know how shld i go abt it... mayb juz see wad i can do to let myself feel tt i m redundant ard e hse ba... i don know.. i juz can bear to think abt it.. all e flashback has got me all in a mess... i wonder how is it like there now.. frm wad i know of my mum.. she may b breakin down.. i don know.. cryin has been all been since for e pass yrs.. i wonder how actually hanged on... with e company of my doggies and e ppl ard me cheerin.. i managed to keep myself happie... home is a burden for me.. heaven for the rest.. i guess... i don know...

anywae... i gonna go and relac a while.. but i don know y i keep prayin tt bro doesn come bk.. i guess e amt of hate i hav in him is too much to contain.. too much to say.. e scar tt he hav inflicted on me cannot b erased ba...

k la.. tts all for e day... lookin forward to sun and monday... hehe... wun b home.... yay yay yay.... no more blardie face frm home.. yay yay yay.... :X....

DORAMON/PANDA... ALLL OUT......

well... today was quite a day.. well.. had a great chat online with few ppl.. time flies.. and had to settle some stuff.. after tt...

met up with my dear chio bu.. serene... haven seen her for like more than half yr le ba... then she say xian.. then go jalan lor.. as usual.. begin with... she is LATE.. and i mean LATE!!! haha... but she swt la.. treat me drink...

was on e phone with "ah ma".. then she came.. then 1st stop was e optiction(spell wrong.. i know.. don know how 2 spell la deh..) shop... tried her contact.. then head on to bugis junction and jalan... then chat quite a bit.. head to arcade.. see ppl chiong game.. many pros.. feel damn noob la.. then see one game mah jiam O2 jam.. new version.. look cool...

then see liao.. xian.. head to M1 kua HP.. after tt.. head to 7-11 for drinks.. sat outside.. had quite a chat... after tt.. went to buy a bit of munchies.. and e salesperson reali know how 2 do biz xia.. haha...

after tt.. head to bugis village.. jalan jalan.. then walked her to e bus stop.... so b4 we left e place.. took a few pics la.. here it is..





anywae.. when i got home.. mum was sayin mayb nxt month go get a new hairstyle... and tts REBONDIN?! gosh.. its gonna b a disaster... hopin wun b true.. mayb a trim will b betta? i wonder....

yep.. tts all for e day... gosh.. e feelin sux rite now... *hicks*

LONER... ALL OUT....

"EXCUSE ME AH.. UNCLE THROAT CANCER HARD PACK 1..."

oops... haha... juz feel like sayin tt...

anywae... well.. besides yest watchin movie, "rogue assasin" with cheryl, athena, kel, gy, jj and andy... which was all good.. its been bored to tears for e last few days....

sometimes i wonder to myself.. m i thinkin of fallin for somethin/someone tt is impossible? i don know... i juz don wanna think so much b4 i reali sink myself into 1...

after goin Kbox with RC ppl last wk.. i been singin non stop.. well.. i got a song tt kinda make me wanna sing more and more...i like it a lot when i was bk at sec sch days... been singin to it most of e time.. besides jay chou songs....

singing in front of a crowd in a pub wld be a terrifyin experience... which may happen within this wk or durin e holidays... i m not gonna say when or where.. cuz its all not cfm....

well... ppl ard me r bein in love or lookin for love ard more... and i m happie for them.. its like happiness has come to them... while some hav lost their love one while one like another... after tt.. life has been tough for them actin ok.. but somehow.. e easily emo me hav felt for them.... its like u hav found somethin tt u love and u wish to keep it tt way.. but somehow.. its juz gone... n no one to turn to is like as gd as alone for tt period.. whether u will find e way to ur light is another issue....

has love become so tough for one to hang on? well.. ans is both a yes and a no.... it depends on one's perpective... somehow... ppl hav turn to horscope for help... i muz say... it sometimes b true.. it may not b... how much one wanna give love to another is a different thing.. characters match... mayb true...

sometimes i wonder.. m i givin a wrong impression to others by bein too frenly and scary at e same time... sometimes i wish i can give myself a whack or wad.. isst bcuz i m juz too emo tt no one wanna come near me.... (m i tt fearful?)... a scary stare has given all fears? a cust once said to me... "usin ur fringe to cover, or givin a scary stare gonna help u cover ur fears? it may seem to ppl tt u r juz scared to let ppl see ur face.. u hav a character tt i will say many ppl will fall for... but.... u hav fears all ur life.. bringin urself to light.. not only depend on u.. but also r others willing to help u.... there mayb someone starein at u frm a distance.. juz tt only u don know..."

her words has been kept in my heart... i remember her... she is actually a successful single mother who has encourage many and brought them to light... sometimes i wish.. can anyone give me a frenly smack? LOL.. i was juz bein nonsense.. thou i mayb scary in term of lookin like wanna whack someone.. but i wun do much... bein on guard all e time has got me all tired.. can anyone lent me a back tt i can lean on.. juz for a while... a back tt can let me rest and let myself go.. juz for a while...

anywae... i hav said my piece.... so.... i don know... well.. a wishful thot, comes a nonsense dream and hope... haha... yep... anywae... heres e song tt i wanna let u all see... its by a band call the moffatts... i don know where they hav been... haha.. no news of them... yep... here it is..

Here we are
You tell me I'm the only one
Who makes you feel love again
There you go
I see you watching him
When you don't think I know
Should I let you go?
So who's it gonna be
Is it him or me?
Who do you love?
Who do you need?
You're messing up my mind
Wastin' all my time
Who do you love?
What do you feel?
Stop playin with my heart
You're tearin me apart
Am I the one
who can make you fly up above
Is it me who can take you higher
than you're dreaming of
Now who do you love?
Who do you love?
Turn around
Do you really think
You'll play me like a fool
For you
Then I realize
When you touch me it's like nothing I have known
Could I let you go
So who's it gonna be
Is it him or me?
Who do you love?
Who do you need?
You're messing up my mind
Wastin' all my time
Who do you love?
What do you feel?
Stop playin with my heart
You're tearin me apart
Am I the one
who can make you fly up above
Is it me who can take you higher
than you're dreaming of
Now who do you love?
Who do you love?
Who do you need?
You're messing up my mind
Wastin' all my time
Who do you love?
What do you feel?
Stop playin with my heart
You're tearin me apart
Am I the one
who can make you fly up above
Is it me who can take you higher
than you're dreaming of
Now who do you love?

AI WEI.. all out.....

well... lets start off with yest... i went over to my cousin's place at noon for drinks... seems tt he is kinda happie.. so he treat me.. haha... anywae... i spent e whole day there... was quite ok.... played a bit of diablo.. and also play xbox games also.... was pretty much relaxin... and after tt can of beer... he kinda got e kick comin in... he can barely even walk str.. was farnie xia... haha... then he bo liao.. take his gastby rubber thingy.. then he started stylin my hair... =.=.... then end up.. while he was playin his xbox games.. i played his com.. haha... at e same time took a few pics la.. bored mah... anywae... yep.. after tt.. "ah ma" came down to meet me.. haha.. then we took train frm simei to pasir ris then back down to lavender... haha... was quite enjoyin.. slowly see all e crowds dashin in and pack like sardines... :X...

yep... finally.. got to my place... we play e com.. i let her watch NANA e movie and she enjoyed it... haha... some of e songs were nice.. (if u all got crunchyroll acc.. go watch it.. its nice... ) anywae.. after tt.. she started deletin stuff off my com so tt it wun b so lag.. and hor.. kx's hse of dead 3 game is still in my com and i cannot delete it xia... zzzzz..... anywae... it was ard 2 plus tt i cannot tah han.. juz fell asleep... tts for yest...

pics taken 4 e day la...(p.s. e hand is courtesy of my cousin.. who was like "WAH! u went for battle ah? how come hand like tt xia.." LOL)






for today?... got up at ard 11 plus? then play com again.. then head off to bishan.. "ah ma"'s hse... haha.... so we bought lunch there.. then ate it... wanted to watch tv.. but her livin rm tv spoil liao.. LOL.... then nvm.. went to play com... so was slackin till ard 6... while she head off to her grandma place...

was thinkin of meetin xiao di for dinner.. but he is out.. gonna meet his fren.. so bo bian... head for home.. and now reach home... NUA-IN... its extremely borin... i can b bored to tears xia... zzzzzz...

so tts for these 2 days.. cheerz....

kk... entry for yest

yest was fun man... mornin met, xiao mei, da jie, kel, ken and jj for kbox... heng i reach earlier xia.. late de need to treat xia.. haha...(a joke thou)... anywae.. we head on to kbox.. and i guess 3/4 of e time.. mic was all mine.. oops... too in a singin mood..(SORRY FOR SNATCHIN LIMELIGHT!!!) T_T...

anywae... after tt.. head on to suntec.. xiao mei and da jie went to shop for some stuff.. while jj, kel and myself went to arcade and play la.. which was quite ok thou.. then see kel play a game.. mah jiam like O2 jam.. gosh.. GODLIKE xia.. *fainted*... after tt.. xiao mei and da jie came bk.. and so we all head on to carrefour to get e food.. due to BLOODIE TIGHT BUDGET!!! we hav nth much to buy also... so we bought a bit here and there.. and besides tt.. we bought alcohol of course.. haha..

after tt.. while wanting to return e trolley... i kenna my finger xia... kenna swell like pig finger now... haiz.. suay la.. but nvm... shant blame anyone... but for my own carelessness... haha... anywae.. we got to e station and took a train to lavender.. but on e way.. jb and me par kat.. cheat everyone's feelings la.. cuz jb say he got work mah.. but end up he managed to take tt time off... hehe... we chat and play com a bit... after tt... kel and jb helped with e preparation of e steamboat xia... (their future partners are damn fortunate to hav husbands like them xia..).. anywae.. after tt.. kel and myself head down to get winnie, cj and andy.. hehe... da ma kenna tricked xia.. cuz i say over e phone tt kel came down with me.. end up only saw me... haha... anywae.. yep... got bk to my place... damn noisy liao.... haha.. after tt... and guess wad.. think was sumarta kenna earthquake.. and my hse was shakin... as it was a 1st time experience for quite a no. of them.. they kinda freaked out.. but all of us luff all thanx to cj's joke.."shake more shake more.. longer longer!! shiok shiok" haha.. cute xia... as it not 1st time alr.. it always happened when i m home alone.. so was pretty much a bad experience... i will usually hide in e cupboard.. if not juz under my blanket and shiver a bit.... cuz there was once.. it shook so badly tt e ceiling in my rm cracked a little... i was extremely scared by it... sigh... guess tt how i got over it slowly ba.. thou i may still fear it...

anywae...we spent like a few hrs waitin for cheryl, athena, juliana, suvin and soon yan to come.. they came at last.. then we had steamboat... had a few cups of martel... and drinks and stuff.. haha.. was nice xia.. *Burp*... hehe... finally... kx came... cj happie to see him xia.. haha.... =P... anywae.. we chat and had steamboat...

after a while... quite a no. of them left... till was only kel, kx and jj at my place liao.. we played overnite mj.. and took us like 6 hrs to finish ONE FULL ROUND of 4 DIRECTIONS of mj xia.. tired xia.. but was all good fun.. and while play.. jj keep sayin tt he cannot tah han.. haha.... so farnie...

they left my place at ard 6 am... and as usual.. i hit for e showers and then koon liao... till today's 4.15 pm xia... gosh.. i slept more than half e day thru...

and i juz had another steamboat xia.. with my family... tts my 1st and last meal of e day xia.. haha.. gao siao la.. anywae.. today my hse shook like don know wad la... jia lat xia... zzzz... anywae...

tts all...

chEeRz to all...

well... i guess somehow things have been happenin and many ppl r feelin e tension... due to exams thou it ends 2molo la..

well.. i screwed my bfd.. i hav nth to say... and today.. i m pissed with myself... y? cuz today was suppose to company da ma and xiao mei as they go thru their accs with cher.. but NOOOO... one phone call and juz rush out to meet cheryl they all.. and its like ps.. felt damn bad xia.. wish can make it all up to them xia... wad has happened to me xia...

anw.. thinkin tt today gonna b accs studyin day.. but NOOOO... end up we play pokers and celebrate mah jiam exams ends today... sigh... i m as gd as dead for 2molo... well.. as i head home.. i was kinda in a foul mood... so i brought my lappy and head on top of e blk to enjoy e wind... when my mum found me there.. she say my eyes look like i m a cold blooded killer... so a pic came to mind... (e pic tts displayed above)... well... i was v much upset with myself..

i hav nv felt so jammed in e middle b4.. compromisin one another isst so hard? i wanna give in to one side.. but on e other hand.. i hav to compromise e other... i don wan anyone to separate frm this circle juz becuz of one small enterin/exit... RC has nv been separated.. it has always been there and it will b there... even if someone wanna come and break it... THEY WILL HAV TO GO THRU ME 1ST!!! oops... *speak no evil*

anywae... i go whack my forehead 1st b4 my eyes lose control..... tts all.. and all e best for afd....

ALL OUT.... GONE...

was wonderin a lot today.. thou was like in a daze...

handlin family affairs...
y no one tag my blog...
when e scars will heal...
when i can reali sing till i drop..
stare at e nite sky with a whole moon and stars shinin..
when i can eva gain freedom...
when will i find my goal...

sometimes i wonder to myself.. is life so empty tt its feels like i can juz end it in a snap... readin xiao mei's blog abt e army fella being an idiot... i think to myself and wonder.. is she e only one tt he can gave up his life juz for her? hmmm mayb... as i think bk...

a person came to mind... brother(bio bro la)... he was actually one of e few i most look up to when i was young.. cuz he was born with a sort of like a slow mind.. plus.. his forehead has a scar.. he got it when he was a kid while playin with my sis.. think was like a 10 over stiches in e hospital... we grew up play bball most of e time.. thou he only started play when he was only sec 2.. was fun seein him play... kinda miz those times... now.. he has been away frm home for a yr plus.. well.. not say away frm sg.. but away frm this house i m in...he gave up his kinship as well as frenship.. juz for a relationship...

not many ppl know tt he is gone frm this neighbourhood.. so most of e time after sch or when i head in and out of home... phobia of nosy neighbours askin "wad happened to ur bro? how come i don see him ard anymore?".. it feels like a thousand darts came passin thru me... thou now if u ask me.. i may say i don know and i don wanna know... but deep down inside.. he still somewhere... as tt day.. he came bk packin.. arguin and accusin my sis juz like a police askin criminal.. it outrage me... i wonder if he eva felt tired of runnin away? a yr.. say not long.. its a lie... its been slowly drainin every ounce of energy and will of me to move on... every nite.. i can almost hear cries comin out frm mum and sis.. prayin tt one day.. this family will b a whole... a small bubble of hope is form.. whether it burst to turth.. i don know...i sank into a shallow sleep.. and dreamt of e impossible...

life is always unpredictable as all say... mine is pretty much predictable... well.. not like i got e fingers to count out how much lifespan i hav left and tt... its juz... well.. i don know how 2 say it here...i guess i m tryin to numb myself off frm all these thots and pain juz by plain dazin... losin control is not an option... but a strong mind to overcome tt...

i guess i been on my own too long.... i juz wanna find somewhere or someone tt i can lean on to rest a while.. b4 pickin myself up.. but e fear of over leanin is there.. i wanna b strong.. but its juz too much to bear.. it somehow begin to consume me slowly...

well.. i betta try get some rest..its alr 3.30am in e mornin... sleepless nite has been on-goin.. only way to sleep... stare at e module book and try shuttin my eyes...

~~AND I DON WAN THE WHOLE WORLD TO SEE ME... cuz.. i wanna hide and lean to get some rest....~~

all out....

well.. after abt a wk of no entries.. heres one.. well.. gotta say this wk has been a hectic one.. thou its been a wk of major PON-in class... oops...

monday had a bloody 5 hr AFD.. almost died.. so in e process was takin pic with xiao mei.. all e emo de.. cute cute de.. haha.. nonsense la.. anywae.. with RC ard.. time.. OF COURSE pass faster la... if not ah.. i wld hav died of SIANSATION...

anywae... wed has OFA test.. was one of e easiest test i eva did xia... finished it quick and shake leg with da ma as she was nxt 2 me... after tt.. i head down for SMSS 5Ns gatherin come birthday party... well.. was glad to see them.. well.. envy them as poly now havin holiday mah.. wad u expect xia...

anywae.. this whole wk, it has dwell on me tt i have become more and more irri? i don know wad term la.. i juz feel wrong most of e time... theres been study grps and stuff as nxt monday is alr exam.. and here i m still being mostly distractin myself as well as e rest.. gosh... i m as gd as dead.. i hav to start forcin myself to settle down and get on with books b4 i get myself killed in exams.. worst panic like siao in e hall... so today is most likely gonna b a home day i guess.. thou got ppl jio go study la.. but i juz feel if i cant study well outside and always gettin distracted.. i don wan e rest to kenna frm me.... so mayb home will b best...

and e most xian thing is I M OUT OF LEDGER PAPER!!!! need to do accs with bloody excel.. gosh.. reminds me of e OFA screwed test... eeek... i feel like i don know where my mind and my heart lies.. is like i m not givin enough effort and like always waitin for ppl to decide or get things done for me b4 hand.. and i m not reali likin it.... i m juz plainly screwed...

sigh... anywae.. i betta get bk with book b4 i start blabberin nonsense like a drunkard... :X...

cheerz to everyone

and to all QB mates.. ALL E BEST FOR EXAMS!!! JIA YOU!! GAMBETTE!!!!:P

well... first of all.. i juz wanna say... SORRY ALL FOR PISSIN U ALL OFF IF I DID... reason bein... was kinda grouchy today....

1st up.. i was late in meetin da ma and e rest to do acc hw.. cuz e doze of flu med got me killed.. and end up i overslept... when i got there... was kinda pissed with myself.. 1.. for bein late.. 2.. e bloody weather.... after tt.. e nitemare came... start to do accs.. and O MI TIAN... is like i totally don know how 2 do.. and is like i cant get anythin rite.. i nv felt this useless b4.. and e more i did.. e more i feel like throwin e paper away.... ARGH... fustrated... after a while... jj and andy came.. and e horror news abt 2molo's afd bein 4 AND HALF HR INSTEAD OF 3 HRS got me even more pissed... and is like i feel like killin myself somehow...

its like a 3 hrs class is enough to make me dead.. now add on another 1 and half hr.. wad is this xia... chEEEEEEEE....anywae... yep... so we did accs hw.. and a simple trial balance.. i cant even get it rite... its like i can mix up between expenses and revenue.... i reali wanna whack myself somehow... argh... i m as gd as this... exams.. there goes my ONE n ONLY A... sigh....

anywae... after tt.. da ma went off with her bf.. while soon yan after a while.. head for home... so kel, xiao di, jj, andy and myself head off to I.R.C... but somehow i gave a bit of attitude(i m sorry!!).. cuz i didn reali like tt place after havin a terrible experience of arguin with e person in charge there.. cuz 3 coms i sat all jia lat jia lat.. and took me hrs i remb to debate with him.. and its like a nitemare.. i seriously hate it xia... so end up.. we head to parco for an hr of CS.. n end up.. kenna trashed badly... sigh... anywae.. we head up to food junction... e guys ate while i sat there and daze.. haha... and kel at our dear fren juliana's fav food... BAN MIAN!! haha... after tt... all of us head home...thou my gastric pain acted up while walkin e guys off... anywae.. so e guys took train bk... i decided to walk bk... on e way.. i saw a grp of ppl i didn wanna see... they saw me and were like actin all frenly.. as usual.. with a motive... well.. i juz walk my way.. end up.. they wanted to start a fight... well.. i cldn b bothered... if they wanna fight.. they wld hav started it and wldn hold back... heck la.. while i was tryin to walk bk home fast to my gastric med... as it was abt to kill my stomach... they keep blockin my way.. askin me to join bk to them and do wadeva it is la... thankfully got mata car.. they didn come close... finally got home and chiong for med... man..

e feelin sux xia... anywae... ya la.. 2molo is gonna one of e longest day i eva face in ITE life so far ba... as much as i wish to pon.. but i hav to admit.. I NEED HELP WITH ACCS LIAO!!! ANYONE WILLIN TO HELP ME FOR FOC? haha.... LELONG LELONG... :X... ok la.. tts all le.. i m gonna eat my med again... pain actin up again xia... sheez.. yea.. anywae... ppl who r still sick... pls.. take care ya.. drink more water and REST MORE!!! and if need tissue.. FEEL FREE TO APPROACH QILIANG TISSUE COMPANY... HAHAHA... :P...

cheERZ to all....

lets start with yest.. well.. i kenna fly kite frm xiao mei.. well.. cant blame her.. cuz she had things to sort out... anywae... xiao di and kel came over my place and played mj.. well.. in yrs of playin mj.. it was my 1st time playin one of e most LAZIEST STYLE OF MJ... well.. not gonna say how... cuz i think if u see if.. cfm faint... cuz i reali luff till i drop... as usual... still sick... kel also.. apparently xiao di was ok.. after wrapin WONTONS FOR A WK?! then he cough la.. sneeze la.. we all nearby de all kenna... now then he wanna start supplyin tissue xia..."EHHH ELO BROTHER!! I WAITIN FOR MY TISSUES SUPPLIES LEH!!WHEN COMIN AH?! UR CUST SERVICE AH... TSK TSK TSK..." ... oops... :X... anywae... after tt.. we got sick of mj.. played gb.. haha.. after tt... ql head home for dinner.. while kel and myself head out for dinner... haha... after tt.. head bk home and nua for nite... was dyin of siansation.. heng got u all talkin 2 me xia.. if not ah.. nite is damn long xia... finally koon at ard 4 plus? cuz watch tv la.. nua la.. stare ceiling la... was so borin i tell u.... zZzZzZ....(those 2 pics above r wad i took on my way home frm lavender mrt station...)


well.. today was one of e most borin day i eva had.. well.. was home alone e whole time.. not knowin wad to do... apparently studyin wasn an option at all.. cuz totally no mood at all.... sigh... well.. end up watchin few animes and movies... and also singin songs.. so tt i can find excuses on sep 12 not to sing... HAHAHAH!!! kiddin ppl kiddin... don kill me... pain de... >.<....

after tt.. mum came bk frm work askin if i wanna go over to gramps place.. so end up.. travelled to tamp.. nua ard.. plus play ard with my little cousins.. which as usual.. pull my hair.. wanna get some horse ridins and stuff... carry them ard like superman and wonderwomen... HAHA... was cute la... they r juz so adorable.... then they play those toys mah jiam acting hsewives.. so cute.... then i took e "chicken" and hide.. they play "wheres e chicken game.." end up... they found out was me.. all came atkin me... haha... juz for a chicken xia... hahahaha.... so cute.... after tt.. couz who was a yr younger than me came.. then he put his wrist band on my wrist.. so i play ard with it.. but after a while.. i was dazin.. end up kenna caught on cam... sheez... kenna luff at somemore.. say look like LAO DA... =.=.... PUI... after a while.. head home alr.... while my mum was drivin.. i turn off e air con and wanted to enjoy e wind...

but some bloody car.. drove pass... wah... almost died of inhalin too much carbon monoxide... PUI.... SPOILER!!!! #$%^&.... oops... too moody today.. guess its one of e most borin day i eva had so far.. i guess it almost got me killed... mentally and physically.... sigh.... well... tts abt it for today....


there u hav it.. e pic tt made me look like LAO DA? pui la...

to those who fell sick... tolongah... take care and drink more water...
also wishin all chers a happie teachers' day...

CHEerz...