well.. today felt weird as usual.... plus tired....

so head on to sch... got to watched coach carter.. was nice watchin it for e 4th time? i still love ken carter for e way of him bring e team. thou they lost e state championship.. but in everyone's heart, they r e real champs. their teamwork was speechless.... then was lunch

well.. i gotta say.. it was one of e quietiest lunch i hav eva had so far besides e 1st few days of sch... i don know y... but nvm.. shant say much.. as usual.. i was dazin in blank.. didn reali talk much today, cuz i guess e weather made most of us wanna sleep..

so head on to bfd, while waitin. i stare into blank again. while bein caught for bein too quiet. i don know.. somehow now it juz sux to b me.. can anyone juz chat with me. at least it wun make me feel like i m out of place nor think much of it? well.. ppl r busy with their lives and here i m wishin for tt to happen? ppl cant juz always be there all e time. i guess i hav become someone tt i wish for someone or somethin tt i can lean on and catch myself b4 i lose myself. dependent for too long. mayb juz need a break... i don know...

once again, i m back to listenin to e song, tt almost may me cry my heart out in sch while we were doin some com stuff. well.. my ofa grades r out... not as bad as i expected... thankfully there is no need for me to re-take... juz do betta for e upcomin test nxt wed.... which is quite jia lat, cuz i still can catch some parts of it... but some.. i need help... but pros r busy with their own, if not helpin e rest... haha... well.. they r hot stuff to ppl... "get it while its hot"? haha.. i m goin bonkers here again.

anywae... finally finished e day.... head bk home.... i hide myself one corner and juz wanna let it all go... but i m still feelin e nonsense feelin.... well.. end up.. did a bit of cookin for e family... was bein praised few hrs bk... well.. in a scarastic way.... i don know... thou i kinda burnt myself a bit.. apparently wasn lookin over e fire.... haha.. silly me...

its alr nite time.. gosh.. time flies... hav i been wanderin too much? hav nite life been so corrupted tt i have to hate myself for turnin myself back into my old ways. nth but violence and hate..... i hav nv felt so mess up... guess many unnecessary things hav juz jump in... worries, fears, anger hav all been contained... but still.. almost every mornin i open my eyes... grouchy is wad i feel... cryin out of nowhere is wad tts goin on... reason? i hav no idea.... depression? anger? wishin tt i cld end it all?.. i wish... hidin e feelins of certain things r contained... but hidin it till it wun b show is another issue.... mixin up thots has been killin me... lonerin all my life besides e company of close frens is wads gonna happen for e nxt few decades? i guess mayb tts wad gonna happen... no sympathy needed.. but bein luff may happen... i don know.. is for e rest to find out.....

anywae... ppl who r readin here.... mayb if ya can.. try chattin with me? LOL... juz kiddin... but its a hope la... haha... dao me also i cant do much... juz feel sad la.. ok.. now i juz said somethin lame.... end here for e day.... tissue boxes needed now... lol....

ChEeRz.....