29 October 2004;9:08 am
Y
I will quietly wait for you...
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Today my mood is like this pic... hate and anger.. but its like look back at the yrs in smss is quite a long time... but its like i has been in there almost half my life liao... i don know... its like i m quite unhappy with myself for producin such bad marks... i feel i hav failed badly causin 2 get a punch from someone that i see everyday of my life besides scoldin... haiz... gettin my face in a state of pain and hate at the same time.. its like as though, u rather live in somewhere cold and nv b found and can never b found till the day of death... mayb the stream i will b in nxt yr will somehow cause more further distance away from my frens that i hang out with in the last 3 yrs and somehow its kinda lost and i m afraid i can never make it there instead... i don dare 2 approach help frm ppl who teaches in class... even i myself don why, mayb i don how 2 ask or how 2 even start a conv with them, that kind of thinkin hav been in my mind since pri sch, whenever i hav prob, i wanna approach them, but i juz somehow lost my guts, somehow i kept askin myself if i m doin the rite thing, afraid 2 cause trouble and more load 2 them.. i know they are 4eva there 2 help, but i juz cant get myself 2 ask.. i don wad has happen 2 me... i reali don know... i feel rather lost now... anywae... lookin forward 2 the sports camp, hope can communicate better with the juniors.. well thats all.... sIgNiNg OfF..
